Re-entry Shock

Giant snake we saw on our bike ride when we got back to Denver- We aren't in New Zealand anymore!

With my toenails painted the color of paua shells, I stand looking at my phone, nearly brought to tears while watching a promotional video by Air New Zealand about relocating takahe birds. It is strange to be back.

I chose this Kiwi color without even thinking about it

Our reentry to the United States after four months Down Under has been as good as perhaps can be expected, at least in a practical sense: The flight and customs were uneventful, we unpacked our suitcases and the most critical storage boxes within a few days, and our wedding photos are back on the walls in the living room. Fran jumped back full-steam into work and public service (on the Public Defender Commission), and Jeremy headed off to two weeks at sleep away camp without too much fuss (although he was disappointed he would miss Denver Pride).

Jeremy enjoying camp

What about me? I have met with my students and am keeping up with emails. I am running around Wash Park in the mornings again, earbuds in. I have had lunch dates and brought a grieving friend a home-cooked meal. We attended a rally for LGBTQ equality. I attended stimulating events as a former TEDx speaker, and have had wonderful dates with my wife, including at Pride. But, there is an emptiness, a sadness that is always just around the corner, ready to accost me at a moments notice. New Zealand became a part of me, and she is there while I am here.

Date night: It's fun to come back to TEDx as a former speaker!

Several things have struck us in our new, Kiwi-fied state, most notably all of the people, cars, stuff, and trash. We were surprised how long it took to relearn how to drive on the right side of the road again. One poignant culture shock example was when at a restaurant, a server plopped a pile of paper napkins down on our table, unrequested, and then when we didn't use them, threw them all away.  We were horrified. You might expect me to also say "reintroduction to American politics," but we didn't get any break from that when we were away- the Kiwis were well-acquainted with what was going on in the U.S., and there was no escaping the news.

Three huge "rubbish bins" at the park- unheard of in New Zealand!

Bizzare Americans- dollars hanging from ceiling at the Bucksnort Cafe

Actually, the biggest emotional adjustment coming home has been our family situation- We were all quite cozy for those four months, spending nearly every waking hour in each other's presence. Although it took us a full month to get acclimated to this new, sometimes uncomfortable arrangement, after that we marveled at how much we were enjoying each other's company.

The week we returned, we were greeted with the "Masterpiece" Supreme Court ruling- so back to The Capitol we went for a rally.

Once we got back, with Jeremy at camp and Fran at her computer, I am left feeling lonely for my family. Fran says, "Aw!" and gives me a sympathetic squeeze before rushing back to her mountain of work.  Jeremy actually wrote us three letters from camp, and I treasure each one, reading his dyslexic scrawl again and again, occasionally coming up with new meanings. I can't wait to retrieve him, even if it means less time to myself.

Pride was strange without Jeremy, but we had fun being childless, too

The things that have helped reverse culture-shock:

1) Continuing to act like a tourist: An American we met in New Zealand advised us to explore new things once we got home. "Continue the feelings of excitement and discovery," she said. Since coming home, I have been to the Denver Botanic Gardens, Golden, The Rhubarb Festival, and new restaurants with Fran. It has helped.

The type of photo I took as a tourist in my own backyard- a sign selling oxygen at a shop in Pine, CO (8,448 ft/ 2,575m  above sea level)

Columbines, our state flower, taken at Denver Botanic Gardens

2) People expressing honest interest in hearing about our trip: Thank you, everyone, for watching our 1 Second Everyday video, for asking questions and listening to the answers and then asking more questions. It really has helped.

Fran being a tourist at Mile High Stadium (in her New Zealand gear) with dear friend Morris Price

3) Being true to our new selves: I posted about how this trip has changed us, and most of it is sticking even in our new American setting and routines. We have spent time outdoors almost every day, are walking more, less stressed about work, using less, and for me, still no makeup.

Hanging out with David and Peter, whom we met in New Zealand, at a new restaurant in Denver

4) Keeping in touch with our new friends: Facebook has been a lifesaver for connecting with those whom we grew close to over those four months, and we have already been visited by a wonderful couple (from New York) whom we met on our Doubtful Sound cruise.

Back on the bikes in Denver!

5) Connecting to all things Kiwi: Fran still reads the Otago Daily Times each morning; we were thrilled by the arrival of the "Prime Miniature" (the New Zealand Prime Minister's baby). And then last week we were excited to get to watch New Zealand play England in League Rugby right here in Denver!

Jared Waerea-Hargreaves (and us) after a game with England

And with that, I leave you, dear reader. I may still post from time to time, but I have a new textbook edition to write, students to mentor, a son to raise and a wife to... well, that's not your business. But in any case, I thank you for making this blog worthwhile by reading it; it has meant more to me than you can know.

Jeremy with "his" horse, when we picked him up from camp